One of the gifts of the workshop I went to a few weeks ago was that I connected to my inner wisdom and clearly felt this strong yearning to embrace stillness. I have tried quiet meditation for years but my hypervigilance and racing thoughts made it impossible to embrace stillness. However, this last week I have been able to really enter into the quiet. Therefore, I have added two stillness periods into my daily schedule. I begin my first stillness period by listening to an Evolutionary Chakra Meditation by Barbara Marx Hubbard. It really gets me in touch with my own desire to consciously evolve in the world and helps me to become rooted in the belief that I can walk with courage into the unknowns because I am supported by the universe evolving through me. After listening to the meditation (which takes about 20 minutes) I then sit in the stillness for another 10 minutes. These 10 minutes can be an intense time because I am so aware of my hyperarousal but I am choosing to be with the discomfort and intensity. My desire for stillness is greater than the discomfort and will help me in the long run to slow down the hyperarousal and help regenerate my body. With this regeneration I hope to find more energy so I may continue to be part of the social movement to consciously evolve with nature and to take responsibility for co-creating a planet that works for all people and for nature itself.
In my second period of stillness I meditate on two thoughts – abundance and inner peace. First, I meditate on abundance because I feel fullness in my heart because I have found a safe, kind, loving and caring home in which I can be my true, ever-evolving, authentic self. I don’t think there is a greater gift in the world to receive in a lifetime. Lastly, I meditate on inner peace because I am still struggling to embrace my daily pain and discomfort while also seeing at the same time that this pain and discomfort is part of my path in life. For the last 10 years I have employed every strategy that research said could cure PTSD and rid me of my pain and discomfort. As you well know it has not done that for me. Now I am looking to have inner peace with what is. I strive to find the strength to live from a place that when I find myself the most challenged, I will still have the ability to be the change I want to see in the world. I hope that everyone can find that place where they feel safe enough to be their true, authentic self. I want to see everyone have the opportunity to be at home with themselves and you can only do that if you feel safe. I want my home, my blog and my comments on other people’s blogs to be my place of safety, kindness, caring and authenticity that I am inviting others to share.