Ervin Laszlo wrote in his book, Chaos Point 2012 and Beyond, “A chaos point is the crucial tipping point in the evolution of a system in which trends that have brought the system to its present state break down and it can no longer return to its prior states and modes of behavior: it is launched irreversibly on a new trajectory that leads either to breakdown or to breakthrough to a new structure and a new mode of operation.”
This is the story of my life. I have always had signs of PTSD, chronic fatigue and chronic pain as far back as I can remember. However, I ignored it all and just drove myself to live the “successful life of the norm” until I no longer could do it physically in 2006 and both mentally and physically in 2008 when I had a complete breakdown. I must have had a premonition of these upcoming difficulties when I sought out my therapist in 2004. It was during these four years (2004 – 2008) that I admitted I needed help, and I had realized that my life had become a journey of chaos, confusion and pain. However, the gift of this 10 year journey through the darkness is that it now has made it obvious to me that I “…no longer can return to my prior state or modes of behavior,” I am gratefully accepting that today.
Through the last 10 years I have been “…launched irreversibly on a new trajectory…” and I believe that I have come to the breakthrough. I have developed new structures and new ways of being in the world. It feels so powerful and blissful to see it so clearly.
Laszlo, E. (2012) The Chaos Point 2012 and Beyond: Appointment with Destiny. Hampton Roads, Charlottesville, VA.