It is with tremendous gratitude that I have made peace with my past and I can see some of the gifts I have developed in my life regardless of the abuse and trauma. My past has helped me to develop a powerful intuition and a great sensitivity to the energy and emotions of others and I often absorb others’ negative feelings and traumas. It is why my PTSD is so severe. My past, my pain and my terror have developed in me a complete commitment to healing. In this intense focus on healing I am finding a greater capacity to love, to empathize, to be compassionate and non-judgmental. These qualities lie at the core of my being, my essence. In addition, I am finding a great draw to develop myself to my fullest potential regardless of my disability and challenges. Deep in my core I have found the passion to commit myself to the social potential movement and the conscious evolution movement from the basement of my home through the use of the internet – the new central nervous system of earth.
The last 10 years of darkness have brought me to this blissful place of finding my place in the universe and my vocation to move towards great social synergy. Furthermore, I have found my essential self, my essence which serves as a loving parent to my own wounded self states and who can also understand and reach out to the brokenness of others. Finally, these last 10 years have shown me that I hold the key to my own healing deep within me. Thankfully, I have learned to trust it. These are the gifts I get to appreciate while managing the pain of my PTSD, chronic fatigue and chronic pain.
Today I can recognize and honor this gifted part of myself. I am not broken. My life of trauma is not a fatal wound. It feels so great to be able to not see it as fatal anymore.