It has been so hard to write the last few days. I have been involved with many seminars and I tend to get overwhelmed and my writing shuts down. Over-stimulation can take many forms (even too much light) and it shuts much of me down.
In last week’s blogs I talked about my lack of grieving during my 3 miscarriages. After thinking this week, intellectually and emotionally I think I have processed these losses, however, I never let out the embodied emotions that accompanied these losses. Not only do I have the embodied grief of these miscarriages, I have the grief of not having had my need for safety met in my life until a few years ago. I am grieving the loss of curiosity and spontaneity in life due to lack of feeling safe for all those years. Also, I am grieving the lack of emotional validation in my life and the intense loneliness I felt in a large family and community. There are many other losses as well. Continue reading