I woke up completely distressed Saturday and I could feel the grief and disappointment that I had not been cured so I just breathed into the feelings and let the energy flow through me. I felt gratitude for feeling the truth of my experience. As always I am so grateful I get to experience the fullness of my heart and the flow of energy and vitality within me. However, the hypervigilance I felt was painful because both anxiety and excitement bring me to a high level of physical distress.
The first thing I did that morning was to take my medication to help with the physical distress. Then I began my day as I do every day with a period of deep stillness while drinking decaf coffee so I will stay embodied throughout the silence. It is a wonderful experience to sit in darkness (around 4 am every morning) and listen to the sounds of nature while focusing on my statue of a strong woman who is holding a candle at her heart center. This is the woman I strive to be every day – a woman that lives from her heart and feels the fullness and depth of her human experience. She represents a woman that holds the pain and beauty of her life in the depths of her heart. Continue reading