I really love this 21 day meditation retreat I am on. It is from the meditation series with Deepak and Oprah. We are focused on 4 principles: 1) I am loving and loveable, 2) I am safe and trusting, 3) I am worthy and 4) I am fulfilled and whole. I really am so excited that I feel these 4 principles deeply in my core. It is one of the many gifts of the path I have been on for the last 11 years. The mantra for today is I am compassion.
I have really learned about self-compassion the last year or so and I am making use of it this weekend. My husband is away at a family funeral. I could not make the trip due to my Chronic Fatigue so I am alone at home. This really kicks in my PTSD. Even though we have an alarm system and live in a safe town, I still find myself cowering in the house just waiting for someone to come in, attack me and kill me especially in the darkness. I have told you in the past that darkness is a real threat to me. So, I am working on learning to really embrace the darkness of night and recognize what many refer to as “darkness” within myself. As my therapist said this week, don’t be afraid of all your emotions or try to ignore them or make them go away, they are just natural feelings. Continue reading →
There are so many thoughts going through my head today. I watched the TV show, Belief, by Oprah. The question was, What do you believe? The show highlighted the beliefs from many religious traditions and the way they committed to their faith through action. As I have said before I do not have a religion that I am affiliated with right now. I am in the process of creating my own set of personal beliefs. I truly believe in this life force energy that moves throughout the universe and through each of us. Each morning I have made it a practice to sit in the darkness and to listen to the life force moving through me and through all my experiences. I listen deeply to what my inner, truer self is teaching me in my process of growing more conscious and awake. Continue reading →
My soul has found a home and I am attached. I have found how to live a deeply soulful life for me. I am living in the right home and space. I am living the life I was meant to live. I surrender or more like yield to my illnesses each day. I am full of gratitude for what they have taught me about really living fully awake during the last 11 years. I am saying yes to life and to life events – all of them on a daily basis. It is the first thing I meditate on each morning. I feel such a zest for life and still I have this sense of hypervigilance and distress. I surrender/yield to this being part of my nature on a daily basis. I am meant to write my blog. I am meant to live a contemplative life and to write about it. I will start to do this more often. I will publish more than once a week. Writing is part of my present and future.