There are so many thoughts going through my head today. I watched the TV show, Belief, by Oprah. The question was, What do you believe? The show highlighted the beliefs from many religious traditions and the way they committed to their faith through action. As I have said before I do not have a religion that I am affiliated with right now. I am in the process of creating my own set of personal beliefs. I truly believe in this life force energy that moves throughout the universe and through each of us. Each morning I have made it a practice to sit in the darkness and to listen to the life force moving through me and through all my experiences. I listen deeply to what my inner, truer self is teaching me in my process of growing more conscious and awake.
As darkness ends and the dawn begins I have another practice. I open myself to all that I will experience in the day. I commit to experiencing the emotions and energy of joy as much as I do my sorrow and grief. I commit to and continue to practice and grow in my ability to have a sense of equanimity with all of my emotions and energy. I commit to tolerating the pain and suffering as well as the joy, again with equanimity. I really believe that if I only try to cultivate what society refers to as “positive” emotions, I would miss out on all the gifts, lessons and energy of the “negative” emotions. That would be an inadequate life for me now. I would not be experiencing the fullness and wholeness of my human experience. These are the essentials of living a spiritually and soulfully rich life for me.
The rest of the day I continue with my meditation practices. I meditate as I take gentle walks, drink my tea, color in my book, do Qigong, read, eat and write. I try to capture my dreams each night because that is when I am more authentically myself. Basically, I make all of this a practice of my personal religion in order that I may continue to grow in my ability to live more consciously awake in the world and to be connected to the full experience of living in this world and universe.
I look forward to the journey as I continue to develop and articulate my own personal beliefs, and direct my life. I fear death but I fear not fully living much more. I am not sure about what happens in death. I think I will become pure energy again and will be part of the life force that pulsates throughout the universe influencing the cycles of life, death and evolution. I realize I am a Neophyte on how the wonders and mysteries of the universe work but it is an adventure trying to understand more and more.