These last 12 years have been years of deep inquiry and self discovery. It took great courage and determination to sit and feel whatever I was experiencing fully in my mental, emotional, ethereal and physical bodies. This journey has led me to a life beyond what I could have imagined of and again, full with deep love and gratitude. The ordinary things of life have become extraordinary and full of wonder and awe.
For example, my relationship with water has become a sacred experience. Each time I take a sip of water I feel the depth of love and self care I have for myself. I feel in awe of how it is purifying and renewing my body with each sip.
My connection to the element of water has become an intimate experience, an awakening experience. I have great difficulty taking a shower because the flashbacks and terror are overwhelming and exhausting. I have to put the alarm on in the house even with the dog and it gives me some relief. Generally, I find that I need to take a shower when my husband is home to have any real relief. However, today I am able to also experience and hold such beauty and awe for this ordinary event. I can feel the warm embrace of the water caressing my body and gently grounding me to the earth. It gives me such a connection to the sacredness of the earth and Mother Gaia. There is this sense of oneness, wonder and awe. I am also grateful for the courage and energy it takes to venture into the shower itself.