I am going to start regarding my illnesses as not a problem. I am going to let them be something other than a threat. I think of them as a threat because they leave me feeling so vulnerable and brings up my uncertainty of being abundantly enough as I am right now. I am going to experience them as an expression of higher sound vibration and frequency that is moving through my body. I am going to treat my hyperarousal as information and listen with my heart, trying to feel what to it is intending to teach me. Continue reading →

I have come to the conclusion that I have learned to live in a constant state of amazement no matter what else I am feeling. Today I am holding both my great anxiety with my sense of wonder and amazement. It is a pure gift to be able to be present to the moment right now as opposed to my past practice of separating from it. I sit with my hands wide open and letting the universe hold this intensity with me. I am loving this moment and at the same time feeling sadness for my suffering. I am complete because I have such a rich inner life.

The words I am raining on the inside, my heart wells up with tears that want to pour by Amy Grant rings true for me today. I have everything I want in life and more for after all all I ever sought after was an abundance of love. I have that in my life and it fills me with wonder, amazement and awe. However, this all contributes to my deep suffering and for that I want to cry but I am unable to release this suffering through tears. I have to sit with open hands. I feel myself pleading for relief and I embrace all of it in the present moment. I embrace and love that I am so fully alive yet I mourn such deep suffering. I long for a central nervous system that is not hyperaroused while experiencing wonder and amazement. I cry out to the universe for relief.

Today I am taking a much more feminine approach to my illnesses in that I am allowing them to exist and not trying to eliminate them. I have developed a spiritual partnership with them and I am letting them teach me about true health and wholeness. Together we are learning deeper ways of being, knowing and meaning making and it makes my life richer every day. I am full of gratitude.

I am on a soul’s journey towards a greater continuity of consciousness. I am deeply drawn in by a sense of wonder for the unknown and for life’s possibilities. It sounds great but it is really triggering my hyperaroused central nervous system. I haven’t been able to sleep for days. Continue reading →

I am reveling in the truth that my physical and emotional symptoms are a real part of my destiny. They have helped to bring me to this path of harmony, abundance and oneness to all that is. I have been longing for this moment my entire life, even though I did not realize it earlier.

I am making this commitment today to see myself as fully whole, not fractured or ill. I finally feel that I can see this wholeness because of my ability to feel such a depth of self love for the fullness of my humanity. Continue reading →