This morning I used these mantras, “Bask in the beauty and love that is within me and around me.” “Rest and relax in this love.” “It is safe to feel this depth of beauty and love in my life.” It is really funny to be repeating these words and at the same time feeling my inability to rest and relax with a hyperaroused central nervous system. What I was able to do is receive everything I was feeling with such love and compassion. I was able to feel all the energy of these emotions and thoughts moving through my body and I felt such gratitude for feeling so alive and awake.
I am trying not to focus on my suffering anymore.
I have become grateful for all that I have learned over the last 13 years as I attempted to cure my PTSD, Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. The these years have brought me a life and freedom beyond what I thought was possible. I have integrated my story with my many selves and have found a home in my own soul reunion and core being. It is so beautiful and has expanded my life tenfold. I am amazed by the personal, spiritual and universal wealth I have received from this long journey inward. I am complete. I am whole. I am blessed. I am safe.
It has been a long and arduous journey over these last 13 years. I am so grateful for my therapist, Lisa, and for my husband for their tender love and care over these years. It feels complete. I look forward to the continuing adventure of personal expansion. I trust and surrender to my process of life as it unfolds. It is beautiful to have such intimacy and trust with life and the universe.