I am having a really difficult day with my body and my brain fog. I am truly challenged to do anything right now but I know that I can always write. I realize that it might not be my best piece of work due to my confusion and definitely blurry vision.
It is really powerful to hold the pensive sadness and grief over the pain body I am in this morning. I am grateful to be able to be using my fingers to type and at the same time, feel the lightness, beauty and wonder for my body as it is. Who would have thought I would come to this profound place of joy, peace, love, sadness and grief. I am so grateful for the deep listening I am able to do within my mental mind, my physical and energetic body and my heart center. I am grateful to feel the fullness of my human experience. I am so fully alive, so fully human and that is where my spirituality lies, in my humanness.
I never thought that I could be so in love with my body as it is.
Technically I am considered overweight by the medical community and the social norms of this world but I feel so content with how my body looks and feels as it is. I feel like there is a juicy love affair going on. (A few weeks ago I heard the term “Juicy Love” which I have interpreted as a total sensual and all-encompassing love for something.) It is beyond anything I could have imagined.
Also, in my deep knowing and from my deep listening to my body I have also decided to go to 4 small meals a day. I love this feeling of my body being satiated but also feeling lightness after the meal. So I have this sense that I could eat more to satisfy my hunger but I am learning that my hunger is not just physical but is about longing for deeper realities more than anything else. I feel this sense of greater freedom going away from the table wanting more. There is also this sense of peace that comes over me. Again, there is this beautiful intimacy between my body and my deep knowing, my intuition.
I am really impressed by my ability to hear the needs of my body. We are so intimate now. The other day I clearly felt this deep yearning and deep knowing to become Vegan and today I am feeling the power and beauty of that decision.
My loving husband found me an article today about being Vegan. I was so touched by his beautiful support because he has no desire to go Vegan. It was while reading this article that I realized that I wanted to make another choice – to switch from coffee to tea. I want to feel the lightness of tea in the morning. As I drank a cup of tea this morning I realized how this is such a wonderful experience of lightness within my body.
I have not been able to do my Qigong on an ongoing basis for many months due to the pain challenges in my body. Qigong got me so connected to everything around me and within me. I could feel the energy move throughout my body and I could feel the energy around me. It connected me to the universe, my connection to all that is. So I feel the loss of this connectivity but my intuition has led me to just as powerful process that gives me the same result. I take in a deep breath and hold my hand on my heart. My body goes from a highly activated state to a more relaxed state. I use this before I resort to any medications and I do it throughout my day. I can feel the amazing energy in and from my heart. It then connects me to the energy within me and around me. I love being this energy body and I love the intimacy it gives me with all that is in the Connected Universe.